Didier Lannoy
Huppe ass!
assembly allegedly chronic daily January-May 2008
Series 2 - Extracts
New Hairstyle
New series a , new fashion, new style, new haircut, new dye, new look?
I went to the hairdressers (Ken, Jeremy, Jordi, Christopher) married my wife and I have not heard
- Normal Douchka, you're completely deaf!
tell me
- Do not make yourself any illusions, rugs, shabby, it does not turn into a flying carpet magic comb!
they did not tell me.
Stay connected
Cell phone keeps ringing in my head
- Tram 81 trying to call you, stay tuned!
Suicide Cannabis
Cannabis he wanted to commit suicide?
Has he missed a step, was he made a hook-in-leg?
Has anyone knocked Cannabis with a wok (or yam), and he pushed down the stairs?
A serious incident occurred at No. 21 for Maes street in Ixelles.
We heard something, a noise, a "plop", a "boom", a "platch" and
- This is not a rat, it's a Degu!
was found rat Sukin, one floor down, on the floor, unconscious, stunned, stunned ...
Rats Are they human? Do they have the right to have the dizziness, off balance, tripping on the stairs, falling into the peas, to suffer, to die?
Rats do they have the right to commit suicide?
the back of a stolen vehicle
Their eyes had finally crossed. And
- You know where to sleep tonight?
she smiled.
The next day, late morning, the type was still asleep, deep in the back of a vehicle reported stolen, near the hospital in Ixelles. Or in the parking lot of the Carrefour d'Auderghem. Or to the store Kruidvat street in Anderlecht Wayez
A policeman
- Kokoko! Kokoko! Kokoko! Kokoko!
brigade anti-terrorist, disguised as American football or ice hockey, banging, banging, banging, banging loudly and viciously on the tinted windows of the vehicle. And began to get excited, get excited, get excited, get excited ...
He tried unsuccessfully to wake the dead.
The girlfriend of the old Lucas
Having torn her veil and having removed his web, the spider lady Lucas Cranach
- Old!
carefully braided hair and pubic glazing, platinum, almost beardless, has received approval to participate in a fashion parade naked in the corridors of London Underground.
But where are the other goddesses, holy virgin, blessed martyrs, pythons, Amazons, archetypes and prototypes, "catalogs" and top models, Barbie dolls and other Paris Hilton, Covergirl and models of agency, pin-ups and it-girls of the past:
the naked young woman with a Blue Hat
the naked young woman with a bouquet of flowers
the bare-breasted young woman blossoming
the naked young woman looked at her toilet
the naked young woman sitting in an armchair
the naked young woman sitting by candlelight
the naked young woman sitting on a camel
the naked young woman standing at the railing
the naked young woman folded into four or rolled into a ball, thrown to the lions
the young woman naked dreaming, reading
the naked young woman languishing in a wood
the young woman lying naked, pregnant and patience by posing in the French version of Playboy
the young woman naked and shivering languished in a field of poppies or under a chestnut tree in bloom, swaying hips and her tinkling anklets, perching on high heels for " and see "by far her lovers and vaginal muscle tone, waiting to eat bees, ladybugs, butterflies, cockroaches, spiders and bats who like to put on the lips and nipples, neck and between the legs of courtesans
the young woman with bare buttocks, back view, the campaign rolled up size, climbing into panties in a kikoso at the bottom of the plot on Ikelemba
the young woman naked in the sun, lying on the beach, renting advertising space on each of the loaves: the first celebrating the merits of a cream cons hemorrhoids and another recommending a line of bathing suits, skin-colored or transparent
the naked young woman to work at the farm or at the laundry at the mine or at the office, authority or by the day, the harem or the convent, to the body of Delhaize Street Hennin
the girl naked at home, undressed and killed by a grenade explosion that drove to his house with a broom
the young woman naked on a trip to Izmir, in Florianopolis, in Kitokimosi (in Common Selembao) in Nassogne (near Badja) Mbanza Lemba (between Livulu and Salongo), Varna, in Biskra, Pokhara, in Rijeka, in Tangier, Pezens (not far Carcassonne) and Cochabamba
the young woman naked high among nuns and knowing all the songs, kissing the ring and poking
- Oh no, touch me not!
- Get out then!
- You m'salis!
- Get out then, "Poor idiot!
in petticoats Archbishop
the girl partially naked in miniskirt and garters, sitting on a bench in the station Marloie and uncrossed his legs and showing her little mischievous and crolles blondes and big puffy lips pouting and students of the Royal Grammar School Condroz Ciney, regulars (ecologists and pedophiles, pigeon, supporters of the Standard came to relax Esneux, fishermen line and traveling salesmen) line Jemelle-Liege, officials-commuters working in Namur Walloon Region and Ardennes Hunters based in Marche-en-Famenne?
And rraaaaaaah! the "Frau Liegende
- You're not a photo her so I walked on?
mit roter Hose und stehend weiblicher Akt Egon Schiele, as
- Of course there is a reclining woman with red pants! After that, nothing is certain ... We should see!
translated at my request, in het engels, by Jean-Paul Dispaux?
And God?
God can not be resolved
- All the world knows she sleeps with men! And it is regularly fiddle and sew hymen by the pharmacist or the healer of the village!
to bless the union of Joseph, sexton of his church and Mary, a teacher of secular schools.
Packed in heavy blankets
Dying in a tram 81 it's not a great way to end the day , winter a Wednesday evening around 17h 30 between
- Probably! We do not know very well! People came, others went out! There were too many people! People do not realized anything! People had no time to lose! It is the dead man himself who had to call the emergency ...
dock Trade and Boulevard de Smet of Nayer .
Being dropped off at Cemetery Jette "by paramedics after being refrigerated packaged in heavy blankets
- As if dying, it gave cold!
this is not a very pleasant way to end his life.
Why going to work that day? why not staying in bed?
While in Paris, the day before or the day before the evening at the Elysee, the Belgian businessman Albert Frere received
- But, but, but ... What is the relationship, name of God?
- No! There is none!
hands of French President Nicolas Sarkozy the Great Cross of the Legion of Honor.
Cannabis still
Cannabis, I repeat, it torments me!
Cannabis whines, shudders but
- no fractures, no! It will certainly get by, yes!
- But what a state! With crutches, glasses and a skateboard?
bites two veterinarians. One in Ixelles (a Saturday) and the other at Uccle (Monday).
So Cannabis is much better ... He has not succumbed to a heart attack following a banking crisis ... Certainly, it romps like before, no more jumpy, chews do more, do more and sham no longer as much nonsense as before, never decreased more
- When God invented the rat, electrical son had not yet been created!
wire from my bedside lamp Married Women claw does more tables Cheri Samba, not gripe over the binding of the latest book Kankwenda Mbaya, do we all play more dirty tricks which he had accustomed us but ... but it re-establishes
, them recover
blit, is recovering slowly ... and meanwhile, tries to be pampered, abuses the situation, trying to blackmail us, threatening us
- It's all your fault! When she learns what happened to you ...
denounce Sukin
The rat loses Sukin
- This is not a rat!
appetite and sense of humor when he
- It's a Degu!
- A what?
- A Degu Degu or whatever! A Degu Chile!
very sore right leg and it can and it squeals, whines, moans and trembles and utters little cries and he shuts up and buries it under a bed or behind a closet all day, all day without eating and without drinking and it looks for him everywhere, everywhere, in vain, and that the aims and the aims that we do not find it anywhere and that it does not stop to sleep and, perhaps, to die ...
damn it begins to exaggerate, the rat then!
Stany And, still alive?
Old Stany said that
- When I was young and beautiful!
whenever he spotted an elderly
- Yes, but if, Madam! Leave me alone!
he never failed to stop and spit in a giant clam, to throw his butt in a bin, raise his hat, kiss the hand of the hag, to the patriarch by the arm and force
- No, no, sir! It was on my way! You do not disturb me
to require him to cross the street.
I wonder ...
I have some doubts ...
This scenario then he belonged to the old Stany own? Would it not rather that of another life, another novel ... which Stany would have loved to be the hero?
Today, unfortunately, the old Stany
- I was tired of emptying the ashtrays!
no longer smoke (even at home).
He spits more either (except at home).
It's been far too long since married my wife and I are no longer went
- In a room where smoking is banned?
a drink at the old Stany!
And yet God?
God? We do not even allow him to speak and say hello in the elevator or the stairs. We do not dare to borrow three onions, a clove of garlic and a matchbox. We dare not even ask him the time.
And knock the pants in (private letters and editorial notes)
Nearly a week
- The "ass" to my wife married, in time, it had not posed too many problems, but the "suspenders" My wife married rrraaaaaaaaah!
- In what world do we live, I ask you? wonder Jean-Paul Dispaux ...
of trouble. And almost blurs (with myself, with some others too). And, perhaps, of questioning?
Yeah, yeah! Many mail late ...
Anne-Marie La Fere writes: "Listen, my dear old Didier: I really like your lyrics but I do not like reading on the screen of my dear old Mac almost died, so when do you properly edit your rantings, on fine paper in fine print of the old typesetters companions, all anarchists, as you know? "
I told him that
1. I have a problem with publishers (with no ... especially since I do not know two ...) (I knew a
- I let everything go! Swearing proper names of real people, redundancies and contradictions, grimaces and antics, my belching and flatulence my, my wet dreams, the exact number of my bank account, parentheses, question marks and exclamation marks, notes in footnotes, the faults of taste, hands on buttocks of grammar ...
Pierre Lelong, Quorum of the boss ... but he threw in the towel) and, for various reasons, I decided
- No artist visa or permit prostitution! Immediately and illegally! Excluding trade, standout outside censorship! Outside the church, the party and the market!
to become a writer electronics. Give me a mailing address anyway
- The factor of your everyday, what! He who does little more than bring you bills (telephone, water, gas, electricity, roads, cable, internet?) Announcements of (baptisms, deflower, weddings, ordinations, divorces, conversions to atheism, funerals ?), warnings extract-role, writs, extracts (negative?) bank accounts or customized advertising flyers!
and I'll send something, but not much in print ... but barely ... nice, but not too ... if your old Mac will eventually get angry ... I guess ... I guess ...
2. I also like the formula of "Huppe ass! "Because it allows me to risk stories (we launch the dice, put it on a nag) who engage (or stall), explode (or fuse), take place (or die-born), flashes, very short, quick ejaculate, day by day, playable and readable on the internet, even on an old Mac and my various correspondents including individuals (players in turn become the characters or speakers, complicity, accomplices, others ) may, if it could, change the course ...
Writing and Anne-Marie La Fere also hope to have partially responded to some remarks "positive" made by Carmelo Virone Jean-François Foulon, Franck Ngbanzo, Ouardia Derriche Hans Samyn, Serge Goldwicht, Claudine De Moor, Joelle Baumerder Viktor Rousseau, Daniel Derr, Ben Mavinga, Jean-Paul Dispaux, Violaine de Villers, Henri Playing Jo Jadin 2 , Chen Mukazi (who, immediately after my defenestration, have all
- Motions trust, telegrams of support, messages of encouragement, thunderous applause, rallies organized by Ben Mavinga, my secretary to General MOPAP (Mobilization, Propaganda Policy and Animation) and his faithful companion and turbulent Shlomo (aka Solomon, aka Suleyman), the circumcised!
come to my rescue ... all
- I will not tell anybody that I think Daniel Derr leaves me a little easily destabilize and wonder if I'm getting older (he also suggests to "use this new interactivity that is emerging and could boust "chronicles Huppe ass), Jean-François Foulon suggests to me that I should not feel obliged to write to everyone about anything with anyone that I went "a drink" in the pubs around the world and suggests to me that Carmelo Virone to distinguish the role of the writer (who writes when he feels like it) to the publisher (who manages the pace of his publications ") ...
by not sparing me not name di dju! their wit criticism) and answering also some of my other good friends who
- It's revered me nerves!
- Parano!
probably did not understand my "project" (my new "concept", as patois today) ... as I saw it take shape, slowly, groping, day after night without pre-established plan of attack, with the complicity of a few?
While Carter made his reappearance Paulo (before
- Where?
- In Jordan!
- Y do what? And sends it over there?
- "Services" Shhh ...!
disappear again) comforted me and also "Vive Huppe ass! As for the explanation of my silence: I am preparing a trip to Jordan, starting March 6. And when you return, I will submit to the agency AnaCongo a new book of adventures of Old and Didier Paulo Carter ... (hush!) Hi and not listening too journalists who drink in the evening. A good journalist always drunk when he is on and (except drama critic) is never at night. "
While, finally, my wife forgive me for not married
- Well, I got him to say!
- It does not stop you again, Douchka, I know you!
nothing but that he does not like criticism of her husband poissard stupid, inelegant and poorly civilized.
Well, once again, my bad faith, which
- Do not imagine especially, asshole, everyone has read your last expedition? Be less stupid, what!
support does me default, takes over and invites me
- Be funny, eh?
to rebound, to revive the party, to do exactly the opposite of what I announced in my last column, against the strong attack (and I even suggested to expand and
- Enlarge your penis! Stop Premature Ejaculation! No pumps, no surgery, no side effects!
broaden my audience
- Get the Truth! Visit my site!
who in previous series, very-very-very experimental, was voluntarily restricted) and
- The best defense is attack! The best attack is the preemptive strike! say the U.S., Israel, Turkey ... and even Belgium and some others going to war against Iraq, Afghanistan and Palestine and (soon?) Syria, Venezuela, Sudan, Zimbabwe and (of course!) Iran ...
to reformulate the end of my last "Huppe ass! "And word it in more positive terms:
Future" Huppe ass! "Will be distributed free to all that world which is in my address book then ... except those who have expressly indicated (at ddl@brutele.be ) they no longer wish to receive
E bongo!
And knock the pants!
1 The first series, called (post) "experimental" contained verbatim or slightly modified repeignée in Annex
2 The text me Jo sent Jadin definitely reassured me: "... the vast enterprise of demoralization that some people called superiors exercised over humanity seemed to meet the most evil crime. His opinion was rather ordinary people, who were not poets nor thinkers nor ministers, but simply a joy never inhabited by extinct "(Proud Beggars, p.52, Ed Joelle Losfeld, coll.Arcane, 1993 ). Cossery Albert.
